My Thoughts: I don't get it

I do not get theses low-carb, high fat diets, because quite frankly since when has bread become bad for you? Isn’t this a food that has been around for thousands of years? Don’t you think if it didn’t work people would have stopped making it like twelve hundred years ago? It’s like saying “fruit is bad for you, because fruit has sugar, and sugar turns into fat.” Really how ridiculous is this? Bread has been around for as long as homo-sapiens have been civilized, and people have not always been morbidly obese. It is not breads fault that we are lazy. Besides, I don’t think it is as much the before dinner bread as much as the after dinner ninetupled-chocolate-butter-gooey-icing-quadruple-layer cake topped with ice cream and served with a pie on the side. I think the Atkins guy just had a personal vendetta against the Wonder Bread bunny or something.

Have you ever been watching a movie and the actor has to cry but can’t? They have the quivering chin, the sniffilly nose, but no tears. Suddenly we have gone from watching this person pretend to now pretending this person is pretending to pretend.

Are ties necessary? Men always have to wear them. Especially to events where they really don’t want to be: work, dances, assemblies, banquets, funerals, weddings. I think men wear ties as a last resort escape. “If one more groomsmen makes a toast, all I have to do is pull is knot just a little tighter.”

Have you noticed that sales people never say good-bye? They just say bye, or maybe they double it up bye, bye. I think it is a desperate last stitch effort to make the sale. “Good-bye” “Buy, BUY!”

Clocks are on the job all the time. Until the battery goes out, then they retire and get lost in the times. They then get a new battery and the cycle repeats itself. It’s like clock work.

Why is it that you can never put a cup of coffee on a coffee table? You always have to use a coaster. I want a table that is actually a coaster. “Do I need a coaster?” “No, the table will take care of that.” Hopefully someday, hopefully.

I have insomnia. So when I am in bed, I think of what is wrong with the world. Sometimes I come up with logical, practical solutions that can be easily achieved. Like the one I had for solving world hunger. The only problem is that I always forget the solution by morning. I guess people will just have to starve a little longer until I find a solution to my problem.

I don’t get why restaurants are called restaurants. You don’t rest there. You eat. Restaurants should be called eataurants.
Why are, waiters called waiters? Seems to me they do the least amount of waiting. Waiters observe the host to see if they lead the any of the costumers to their sections. Waiters take the costumers’ orders, tell the orders to the chefs, serve the order, ask the customers if everything is going splendid, refill drinks, bring the check, and collect the payment. To me, waiters should be called on-the-go-ers. The costumers wait to be seated, wait to place their orders, wait for their food, and wait to leave. If anything the costumer is the one doing the most amount of waiting. They should be the ones called waiters.