Note, this is based off of real events in my life, but not all of it is true as seen through the changing of my friends' names (which serves as a precautionary measure for them and for me as well since, publicly, I may not want to be known as to associate with them.........just kidding guys.........no really I'm not.......no, no, no I am..........serious.........joking) Please also note that this is a working draft so it may change, especially the title.
enjoy.
Gluttony, a Deadly Sin; Krispy Kream, Just Deadly: part 1
The other night, I went over to my friend Kevin’s house to watch a baseball game. The two of us joined by our friend George, sat in Kevin’s basement watching these now none steroid using athletes run, jump, catch, throw, and hit in a much less exciting fashion than in the previous “doping years” of the last couple season. Our stomachs began to growl with an angry ferocity for food. George suggested that we should go grab some chow after a Jack in the Box commercial aired, and I could not have agreed with him more having only eaten one meal the entire day, an early dinner of six Jack in the Box tacos. Like it was lightening I was suddenly struck with a hankering for a doughnut. I hadn’t had one in a while and pushed the suggestion forth with such gusto that I could have made a scientologist take anti-depressants. “Ok yeah doughnuts sound like a good idea, but let’s wait until the game is over,” Kevin said. So the three of us, sat in Kevin’s basement amused that the experts were predicting 1,000 less homeruns were going to be hit than in the previous season, the very same homerun that had “saved baseball” a few years back. Our lips were smacking with glee as the skinny centerfielder made a catch to conclude the game. Since it was around 9 PM and no real bakery would be open that late, we had to go to Krispy Kream Doughnuts to indulge in our lust for fried and glazed batter. Since it was my idea, I volunteered to drive, and as I was speeding around South County St Louis listening to Kevin and George critiquing that fact that I had a Beatles CD blaring only to then have them suddenly and quietly bursting into singing “Revolution.”
“We all want to change the world…….We need to get good music for our road trip.” Kevin proclaimed.
“…that its evolution….. Yes we totally do. I will make some kick-ass CDs.” George shouted over the wind howling from the open windows.
“This trip is going to rule! We need to just buy the ten dollar tickets for the Yankee game incase the other ones don’t come through.....don’t ya know its gonna be…” I said.
I drove past the drive through and pulled into a parking spot. You say you got a real solution…….
“Holy crap, they have ice cream now?!” I said placing an inflection on “now” just out of sheer disbelief at the situation.
“Yeah, I saw the sign coming in.” George said, “So are we going to go to
“Yes, we are. But we should leave Friday night so we can have more time there and in
“I can’t believe this, this is just so ridiculous.” I stated still beside myself about the ice cream as I pulled the door open.
“What?”
“They sell ice Kream!”
“oh yeah, its pretty crazy. So what time would we be leaving on Friday?” George asked.
“Around 7,” I said nodding and looking at Kevin who was nodding back confirming on the time. “so what are we getting? I’m pretty hungry. I will eat like 2 or 3, probably 3. Should we just get a box of 6?”
“Well I will probably eat three, too, so we should get more than that.” George said.
“Yeah.” Kevin confirmed, nodding in a gesture that reveled he too wanted about three doughnuts.
“Ok so should we get a dozen of mixed?” I asked.
“I’m gonna need some milk.” George said.
“Yeah me, too” Kevin followed.
“How may I help you?” a man behind a case full of glazed, goldeny goodness asked.
“Oh we are still figuring out what we want.” Kevin said.
The three of us huddled out of the line to discuss the next plan of attack. A middle-aged man then walked up to the counter and placed an order with the slender employee that had first offered his service to us. Then an attractive girl made her way to the counter holding a holder filled with small ice cream cones.
“Anyone want to try our new ice Kream?” She asked.
All of the customers shared in a momentary freeze as if to suggest that one, I was not the only one to think that Krispy Kream Doughnuts new ice cream selling proposition was utterly ridiculous, and two, no one wanted to be the first one to declare their wantonness for obesity and diabetes. As a college student, my freeze was overtaken by the impulse to commandeer anything that is free. So I was the first to take a sample cone, but not the last as everyone in line soon followed suite. George, Kevin and I stood in staring at the glazed fluffy round baked goods, licking our free ice cream, and came to a consensus that we wanted a dozen assorted doughnuts.
“Are you gentlemen ready to order?” another slender employee asked politely as if reading our minds.
“Yes, we would like an assorted dozen, please.” I said with a grin as I finally took the last bit of my sample cone.
“Alright what will you have?”
“I would like two of the chocolate sprinkles and two of the custard filled, and what do you guys want?” I said with the smoothness of a news anchor passing the segment over to the weatherman.
A family then entered the store donning in attire that suggested they either came from a wedding or a funeral. My guess was the later. After all, who would eat doughnuts after a wedding? A funeral is logically a sound choice. Upon seeing these new customers, the attractive girl appeared again to tempt the room with the delicious sample--sized nectar of sweet unholy goodness, which could have been created by no one other than Satan himself.
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