My Thoughts: Animals of Sorts

If I were an animal I would be…well I don’t know what I would be. I do know I would not want to be a lion. That’s a lot of pressure, being THE KING of the jungle. Too much is expected of the lion. Maybe the lion wants to lye around (I know that is really bad, but when I wrote it I didn’t even realize it. Honest) and eat grass, instead of chasing food around all day. Plus the lion never gets to order anyone around. You never here a lion go, “Hey, you there, antelope. Come here. I’m going to eat you.” And if you did the antelope would be like, “Hell no. You're not the boss of me. You can't just tell me, I have to let you eat me. What fools put you in charge, anyway? we sure didn’t”

As one grows up, they associate grey with elephants, green with frogs, yellow with lions, orange with tigers, blue with butterflies, but what color is associated with crack?

Fire ants neither start nor put out fires. They’re disappointing.

Animal lovers that are vegetarians are hypocrites. They say, “Eating meat is uncivilized.” and “We must protect the animals from extinction.” With this I ask all animal loving vegetarians, have you ever seen a cheetah taking down an antelope on the African Plans? That is not very civilized, and yet we must save the cheetah.
Life for cattle:
Eat rich, sumptuous grass every day in a lush, copious field until you are full without any worry of predators. Then you are taken to the butcher to fulfill their purpose in life.
Life for antelope:
Compete with the other herbivores in eating the dry, pallid grass of the African Plan, all the while keeping an eye over your shoulder so you don’t get their throat ripped out by any of the abundant species of carnivores. Then, one day you see a cheetah running at you. You are panicked. You flee. You’re not fast enough. The cheetah mauls you in the back. You fall. It picks you up by the neck and drags you a hundred yards under a tree. You are still alive. The cheetah bites into your stomach. You are devoured.
Which is more uncivilized? These vegetarian/animal lovers need to get off us humane human’s backs and start blaming the cheetahs.

I was walking down the street one day, and I saw a fire truck at someone’s house. As I drew nearer, I asked what was going on. The fireman replied that he was rescuing a cat from a tree. I didn’t know trees were hostile toward cats. First dogs now trees, its rough to be a cat. He said “rescuing.” Was this a hostage situation? Did the tree send a ransom note, or did it call? I really don’t think a tree would use paper or pencil, unless the pencil was mechanical and the paper recycled. It probably called. “I’ve got your cat and if you want him back you better water me.” “How do I know you haven’t harmed my kitty?” “Hold on…..(some rustling noise)….meow……(more rustling)….there are you happy? Oh and if the cops are called the cat will get hurt.” So the lady called the fire department, and the tree was like “Crap, I didn’t think this through.”
Maybe it’s just a conspiracy. Trees are paying off the dogs to do the dirty work.
“If you case that cat up me, I’ll let you mark me.”
“Deal”
Maybe the tree isn’t stopping there. We need to do more investigating in the matters of the squirrel-tree and bird-tree relations. After all we are letting our children play on and sometimes even take up residency in the trees. The trees could be the real terrorist.

Curiosity killed the cat. I wonder who solve this crime, or if there were any witnesses, or what motives curiosity had to kill the cat. Or---