Novel Release DATE! 2000never

Shortly after I began writing My Thoughts, I started working on a novel. Unfortunately, I had a couple of things working against me: I can’t write, I have no important message, and my ideas are as good as a coked-up squirrel’s. So, with all of this going against me, I started to focus on coming up with quotes. My hopes were, seeing as how I had no writing ability, no theme, and no story, I might as well have some lines people can quote. Sort of like Napoleon Dynamite. Here are some of the quotes from my novel. Feel free to quote any of them. One day you might find yourself in a conversation saying, “that reminds me of a quote (say the quote) from the novel Partly Cloudy with a Clear Horizon by Daniel R.S. Granda.” Your audience will be amazed, and may ask for the book's name to be repeated. Give it to them. They won’t know you haven’t read it, or that I haven’t even written it for that matter. No one just goes out and buys a book after hearing one or two lines from it. If you come across a person that does do that sort of thing, you do not need to be friends with them. However, to make certain no one tries to get the book, do not use the quotes often. If you are always spouting out lines, one of your friends will eventually say, “Say, you certainly quote that book a lot. It must be pretty good. Where can I get it?” That is something that should definitely not happen. So, pick the right moments to use the quotes. Like, perhaps in a conversation with people that are smarter than you. (This way they will feel stupid for not even have hear of the book, non the less having not read it.) Or, if you are giving a speech to graduates, co-workers, or your boss, or if you are at a bar picking someone up, or if you are trying to tell your children, spouse, or that person you just picked up from the bar something very profound. Anyway, if you use these lines, you can’t go wrong. So pick out as many as you like and start reciting them right away.
The quotes:
1. “People always glorify the dead. I guess it's because they are no longer around to bother us.”
2. “Nobody likes a liar, son, nobody.”
3. “They have their opinions; I have mine, and boy, am I thankful for it.”
4. “Everyone is afraid of death. I look forward to it. Either all of my questions will be answered or I won’t have any to bother me.”
5. “Greatness is only possible when something great is won and, unfortunately for you, we are winning.”
6. “There are five stages in life: baby, child, teen, adult and elderly. Though there are some that never seem to change after the second stage.”
7. “Death is as much a part of life as being a confused teen.”
8. “Wisdom doesn’t come with age, it comes in the end.”
9. “Time is a mysterious thing. The older you get, the quicker it goes. To a newborn baby a second is a life time, but to a 93 year old a second is like a star in the sky.”
10. “The best part of living is enjoying it while it lasts.”
11. “Trying to change a person is like trying to dig up concrete with a plastic spoon. You can only do it when it’s fresh.”
12. “Everyone has regrets. Some regret they were not daring enough. Others regret that they were too daring. Nobody likes who they are; until they accept that what they have done was right for them at the time.”
13. “You have a choice, to be great or to be like everyone else.”
14. “If you are great you are remembered, if you are not great then you are liked.”
15. “Love is the most addictive drug of all, and recovering from it is the best form torture I can think of.”
16. “Everyone has hardships. At least everyone would like to think so.”
17. “How can one flaw be greater than another? Whose job is it to rank flaws? Isn't it all the same in the end?”
18. “To forgive is to forget pain, and the only cure for pain is love.”
19. “No one knows exactly what is right. The only thing you can know is that you tried.”
20. “Can you think in heaven? Your brain thinks, and when you die, your brain stays with your body. So how do you think in heaven?”

You are welcome.